That Warm Fuzzy Feeling!

                   Its soft and warm, that feeling when your special someone even acknowledges your presence, smiles at you for no reason and you find yourself smiling back at the person involuntarily but from your heart…people always find ways and means to seek happiness. Some find it with family , some with wealth while the others with success and power. At my age of 21 when life is starting to make sense to me, there is a trail of this warm fuzzy feeling tagging along , which leaves me puzzled, but mysteriously  paves my way through life with a sense of ease and happiness.

It always happens, the reason for you to smile unreasonably, that feeling of bliss in everything you do, the feeling to love everything and everyone around you.  You all have experienced that funny feeling inside, which is liberating, which levitates you from all those shackles binding you. The feeling when you don’t want to believe in reason and logic, that life is a miracle and every second is worth a special moment to be shared in love and happiness and more love. And suddenly it’s gone …

“As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone…” 

There is no science behind this feeling, it’s magical, the feeling surfaces out of nowhere and vanishes within a wink of an eye, but the scent of it always lingers on your mind, leaving you craving for more. But suddenly life takes over you, logic pulls you back on track and that magical feeling doesn’t matter, cause you are past that moment. Then starts the cold, long wait for the feeling to return but time moves on and so do you, and suddenly there is a longing inside you to come back home ,just when  the hollow space inside you asks you…where is home?

People don’t realize about the things they say and do, have you ever thought to yourself, the magic in every word you speak, every muscle you twitch and every memory you can recollect? You feel the magic only when that special someone loves all of those small things about you , values them and moulds her life around them , which brings in that warm fuzzy feeling you never want to let go of.  

We find that magic inside us only when the closest to our heart makes us believe in it. All we have to do is, (well other than finding that special someone ;) ) to Believe In That Magic Inside You, to love yourself and value those simple moments in life which brought a smile to your face. Right from those songs you cherish to those moments of Introspections in life, they all had magic. So for a moment take a break from life and listen what your heart has to say, cause the magic begins right there.

 Ida Scott Taylor once wrote:

 Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering…..

May the Magic always be by your side J

How We Percieve

We all have that special some one who makes your heart skip a beat, who defies all your logic, who you wish could be by your side at every step of your life. Life feels worth living,  A single lifetime feels short with that person around . And suddenly , the feeling dawns u , there she stands at your doorstep, ready to leave and never look back again. And you feel no matter how tight you hold on, she's slipping away. That feeling of denial when you are unable to fathom the fact of being alone again, that life is not worth living. When u sit alone and think how every memory of the person rips your heart apart and brings tears to your eyes and you cannot stop thinking of the person what so ever.

  Then time flies and hope persists, the hope that someday the person will return to you, someday you can hold her hand and just hold her forever . The hope turns to faith and you start believing in it all the more. To the outside world you seem fine, but who wud ever know the turbulence inside u, who wud know the unbearable pain pressing down on you, making it hard for you to even breathe, but also not to forget smiling to feign your pain. What happened to that silver lining to every black cloud? What happened to living life everyday like nothing mattered? It all so incredulous !? And then you think, has life given you anything but tears? Then one day you wanna let go coz your faith is dwindling, but you cant fool the heart….coz he holds the faith intact and refuses to let go. 

Then one fine day you sit back and smile on what u had, what you always wanted and what you never got… It all starts making sense to you, no matter how hard you try , somethings are meant to be, the rest fall in place if they have to. You get what you put in and people get what they deserve ( Courtesy: Only God Knows Why-Kid Rock) . The silver lining to your dark cloud makes it way to you. This is when you stop trying and start accepting. Sure the heart moans out to you, wanting what It always wanted, but now you convince yourself that you can never have it. You hold on to every last bit of memory that salvages, like a sweet drug you cannot do without, reminding you of that person every night you sleep, every morning you rise. Then you finally realize, the story is not a part of your life, Its your life which is a part of the story, like an ink blot on a paper, which makes no sense to the paper, but always has a greater significance that lasts forever….

Being 21

17/09/10: Today felt like just another day, today felt like another day of learning, another day of growing up and of course another day of conquering life, yet today was different. Today I turned 21, don’t know why but it feels good, it feels like entering a new world where everything changes, everything seems different yet the same and suddenly I feel grown up.

What happened before this day were memories and its time to make new memories now, better memories for a better future. I have done everything a guy of my age is supposed to do. I have broken a few rules yet stuck to most of them.  In these 21yrs of my life I have been a regular guy, doing everything right for myself and others around me. It feels good when I know that I have made some one happy with my actions cause in the end that’s always been my nature. I have always lived in constant fear of failure, that some day I will fall to the ground cause I did not put in enough of hardwork, because I was not diligent enough, and this fear pushes me, urges me to move forward, to strive for the best and never look back. There have been times when I failed and there have been times where I have excelled in my own ways.

In these 21 years I have loved and lost, and yet I live with a smile on my face and courage in my actions. I know it as a fact that I am confident and responsible for my own actions, that what ever I do whether right or wrong is keeping me happy, is helping me live and is forming a part of my memories. A significant part of me which is molding me every day.

In these 21 years I have been a simple person with simple needs, but with big dreams, but why is it that at the end of all dreams I want a simple life, something which I already possess? Yet these dreams push me forward towards my goal. Towards a goal I slowly unwrap every passing sun. 

Some day when I read this letter I may be settled in life, different from what I am now, and Iwill wonder why did I ever write such a letter? Its to make you realize how much I have changed and what it felt like to be 21.

Things you STILL do which I am sure you will never do later in the future:

·         Sit and wonder about everything you have done and just smile at all your stupidity and all your faults.

·         Prefer listening to music than sitting with friends cause you simply loved your music.

·         Play FIFA ‘ 08 like it’s an integral part of your life and something you cannot do without.

·         Dream of making it big someday with your hardwork and honesty to your work.

·         Make people around you happier than you are cause that gives you the most happiness.

·         Afternoon Nap: The most important event of the day.

·         Finish up all your work by 9pm and just sit and relax, watching something or just sitting there satisfied to of what you achieved that day.

·         Write another foolish letter like this one ever again! Though you just want to pen down your feelings , you wont cause you think its not the solution, but trust me don’t think just do it!

·         Think more and act lesser than what you act now, Please never do this.

·         Listen to those old tracks which once upon a time brought a smile to your face.

I know every one will change with time and tats how it is supposed to be, just remember one thing that when you are 21, you loved yourself and had the most perfect life a person could dream off. I hope you continue to live on this way cause that’s what your dream always was.